


Castiel Wants To Get Laid

by sweeabo



Series: illegal stuff [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack Fic, EXTREME GAY, M/M, cas wants 2 get laid, dean has a problem, diK, god is a protective father, lOTS OF FRICKD UP STUF, the cob of corn, things tht r happening that arent supposed 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:56:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeabo/pseuds/sweeabo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wants to get laid and gets advice from Gabriel. (oooing)<br/>A lot of awkward and weird shit happens.<br/>God is a protective father and appears at the wrong times.<br/>Dean is fucking savage.<br/>Sam just wanted a degree in law<br/>Gabriel is a sly dog ;))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel Wants To Get Laid

**Author's Note:**

> does this fanfic even make sense lmao

once upon a time cas and gabe wer in heaven

"i want dnea 2 fck my possay" cas said 2 gabe

"but dat is sin papapapapapa wont liek tht" gabe replied

"who da fuk ma luk cares anymoar evryone h8s me" stated cas "do u has tips on how i can get the sagsuause"

"yis" relpied gabe

"tel me ur secrets"

"u gotta make the hoe thirsty 4 u or u just walk onto him into the shower and suk his dik and screm "faHK ME IN THE pSOSAY"" gabe said

"i wil try dat bro bro" cas said and whooshed outta heaven

\-----

 

dnea was eatng some of his bleoved appel pei when cas whooshed onto his pie

pie broke into pieces and dnea cry

"cAS wHY U DO DIS!!??!?"

cas cry

"i em so srry dnea i wil fix et"

cas go buy another pie for dnea to enjoy

dnea happy when he see pie

pie is good 4 the soul

dnea forgived cas after the incident

but cas had appel pei on hsi booteh (it was actually his long ass trench coaT BUT Y'KnOW)

"iii will lick tht off 4 u bby" said dnea

cas moenled "yAS DADDY uNF"

dnea got weirded out

"no ty" said dnea and left the appel pei on his bototoyo

cas cri bc he scare dnea awey

 

\------

it was now night time and sem and gabe wer buying foodies 4 the din din

dnea went 2 take a showooor

cas slipped in and saw dnea's big ding dong

cas took off all hsi clothes and slipped in the shower w dnea

he tookie gabe's advicee

"cAS wHAT THE FUFCK ARE U DOING HERE!??" dnea shouted at castity

"dis lmao" cas said and went down to the ding dong and started sucking the bIG THICK DONG

dnea moanled it was so good but sinful he could not beleive one of gods bitches wwas sucking hsi dong dong 

cas sucked the dong so good that white creamy ranchy stuff come outta it

"mmm daddys ranch!!!" cas said

"cAS NO ITS NOT RANCH" dnea scremed

cas started licking the cummies off of him and the dick and scremed

"IT NOT RANCH"

"i told u u assbutt" dnea said

"who care fuck me in the booty" said cas

dnea nodded and shoved his vvv big donger up castiels angel ass

cas moaneleld so loudly that the aliens on uranus could hear it

sudenly the door opened

"StOP"

it was gahd the lurd of dah angles and hooven

"frickity frack dad what teh fook u want" sid cas

"u kant have boot sex w a human cas"

"uGH DAD WE HAD THIS TALK IM OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX"

dnea was weireded out bc his dik wuz still in cas' ass and he was but nekked in front of god, cas' poopa

"wELL I CANT JUST LET U GO AROUND N GET DEM STDS IM NOT HEALING YOU OF THOSE"

"DAMMIT DAD I JUST WANTED A GIANT COCK UP MY ASS AND DNEA HAS A GIANT BIG FAT COCK DAMMIT dAD"

"nO CASTIEL UR BECUMMIGN A COCKSLUT"

"gO AWAY DAD WE'RE TRYNA fUCK DAMMIT DAD LeAV E"

then boom it got even mroe awkwarder

sem and gabbu came home from the market and coming home 2 a nekkid dnea and cas and a giant jumbo god inside the fucking house

"mY EYES" SEM SAID AS HE WENT TO GET HOLY WATER TO POUR INTO HIS EYES

"dAD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" SCREMED GABE

"R U GETING STDS 2!??" said papa god

"nO IM NOT I HAVENT EVEN MADE A MOVE ON GIANT DICK MOOSE YET"

"can we just fuck now pls mr. god just skippity boop outta here" said dnea interupting papa god

"dang flabbit u wicnehsters ill let u fuck mi sons but u cant get stds arite i worry abt mi sonnies"

"DAMMIT DAD JuST LEAVE" said cas & gabu

ghad finally whooshed and left while gabu and sem went to do the dirty do inside another bedrom

"fINALLY NOW fUCK MY PUSSY LIKE U MEAN IT dNEA AND DO UR CUMMIES INSIDE ME" LOUDLY SCREMED CAS

dnea thrusted into him and hit in little sneakity protstate and cas moanleed so loud that the sun complained to gahd

"uNFFF dADDYYY FUCK ME HARDER!!1111" SCREMED CAS

dnea fucked cas even harder and he cummed inside of his bootyhole and plugged it up with a cob of corn

"UNFFF!!11" said cas "i feel so full daddy!!!11"

"we wil fuck tomorrow do not tocuh ur bootyhole or eat the cob of corn in ur ass ok" dnea said

cas nodded and whooshed outta the room and whooshed back into his cloud heaven bedroom

"lmao dad my bf is so kinky he shoved a cob of corn up my ass!1" cas eggsplained 2 hs papa

"dEAN wiNCHES T ER R R  R" god said scremng so loud that it even woke up the galaxy next door

 

the end.

// what did i just fucking write oh my gOD //

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry mom  
> ;; lmao another note  
> pls give me credit or notify me when using this for anything  
> such as fanfiction masterposts, etc


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